By Lucy Komisar
The stuff of this play is over 40 years old, perhaps an avatar of what became a staple of a certain dark corner of the entertainment industry, vulgar sex-themed comedy. This is why I don’t go to comedy clubs. Boring silly stuff, lots of crude jokes. Most aimed at 13-year-old boys or people of that mental age. This show is on stage because Whoopi Goldberg is now famous, but she didn’t get there because of what she wrote in 1984.
The only bit I liked was Kerry Washington as a teen California surfer with a perfect Valley Girl accent. She alas is pregnant and needs an abortion. A church slams the door on her. But she insists she is “like Mary with Jesus.” She tries the “coat hanger in the uterus” method. But the bit actually was funny. And feminist.
Most of rest was crude, vulgar, creepy. Do you really want to hear a woman talking about her “pudenda”?
Lurleen (Kecia Lewis) “And it used to be like, I used to love to check myself all the time. I’d always check my pudenda ‘cause my pudenda is very close. I’m very close to it. And it’s always been the same. Black and silky like I like it. Now, I went into the bathroom the other day, and looked down, and it looked like the top of Mount Fuji. You know what I mean? It looked like somebody had snuck into my room and scared my pudenda, ‘cause it had gone totally white. And now the poor little thing is losing its hair. Oh, I made up a whole song about it called, “Balding Pudenda.”
And the Jamaican Lady (Denise Manning) tells us what we don’t want to know about sticking in a finger: “He come flying in the room and threw his hand up. I said, “Oh no, you doing that five time again.” He said, “Oh no, pick you a finger.” And you know, for one second, I was insulted. And then I thought, what’s the worst that could happen. I could think of nothing, so I laid back, and left the driving to him and picked me a finger. And, child.. Let me tell you something in praise of the older man. Now child, these old men, they been around… Yeah, no, no, no, ain’t no youthful fumbling, talkin’ about, “Is this it? Is this it?” (wags finger) No. No child, them old raisins zero in and go right for the money. Yes, and I don’t regret a thing. Not at all. Except he was making funny sound like (smacks lips).”
The rest of it was worse! Yech! I quote so much in case you think I am exaggerating. It was vile. Dear Whoopi, let your crude early fantasies gather dust in the drawer.
“The Whoopi Monologues” Written by Whoopi Goldberg, directed by Whitney White. Lincoln Center Theater at the Mitzi Newhouse, 150 West 65 St, NYC. 1hr40min. Opened July 13, 2026, closes Aug 30, 2026.